CycleSlogger: 2018

NOTE: this bloomin' post is about the last day of my Hood 300 Bicycle Tour. Days 1-4 were posted months ago and its been a total of 798 days since the end of my tour! But, I had to get this last day in the books -slash- blog. I have not done a tour since May 2016 and I can tell you what - that ain't right! Anyway- consider this tour officially posted now!

Date: May 27^th, 2016

Start: Goldendale

End: Hood River

Miles: 56.8 mi

Time: 5 hours, 43 minutes

Elevation Gain: +3201 ft

Awake! Last day. Avante!

Easily the most exciting morning of any tour. Man, you almost have made it. All that is left is the final push, er pedal. And as I am so crafty, I always make the last day, a rendezvous with my sidekick (sweets, you know how you are) and Luna the… old now, but still… Wonder Dog. And then I throw in, this time, a sister-in-law for proper sidekick support.

See, I say, the fun for yall… yah gotta see this place I am riding to, meet me here, we’ll just have a grand ole time! The specific bribe was they have wine tasting (great wine tasting)… and its situated on one of the most mightiest rivers, a beast of pure hydraulic forces, a tectonic North American gash of 1200 miles – big fucking darn river.

To which I need to cross on this final day – The Columbia River.

I am just shy of sixty miles to the trip’s final destination – Hood River, OR. But, my plan, as formally construed months ago, was to ride Dalles Mountain road out of Goldendale, which avoids highway 97, hit the gravel unimproved rural road and slog up Dalles Mountain and then descend down… Dalles Mountain, through Columbia Hills State Park and then to the mighty, mighty Columbia River. Once I hit the Columbia River, my plan was to head west on WA 14 until The Dalles, then cross the river at The Dalles Dam. And then head still further west until Hood River along Historic Columbia River Highway Hwy 30. It was to be a final day of gravel, planned to cap the three earlier gravel days and allow me to say later on to friends and family- yea, that trip was 82% gravel roads!

When I woke, the winds were already blowing steady. By the winds and slight chill in the air, I could tell that its still May and summer was not quite yet here. I loaded up the bike and headed to the grocery store a few blocks from my hotel and perused the aisles for breakfast. At the check out counter, I asked the checker about Dalles Mountain Road and its “appropriateness” for a bicycle. He looked a bit puzzled and said, hmmm, not sure about that road and bicycles. In further discuss he said he had driven up the road a few weeks ago and said he can’t imagine a bike navigating the road very easily. Well, that was enough along with the wind to make me change my route for the first part of the day. So down I went along highway 97 heading south toward the Columbia River.

Once I crested a scraggy ridge on the highway and could actually see the river, the winds started really ripping. The Burro and me were getting blasted from the west as the winds used the river gorge as a big hole in the Cascades to blow from the ocean west to east to the central basin of Washington. It was starting to get annoying and then was feeling a bit dangerous as well. But once I hit the ridge, it was all down hill to the river!

At the bottom of the hill, highway 97 made a gentle arc to the west and the more I turned west, the more the winds came directly at me. Things were now becoming what all cyclists despise – a head wind. I mean it really was sustained blowing and devilish gusting. I have 26 miles to the left turn at The Dalles dam. Worst fucking ride of my life! The wind was merciless. And it was cold. The sun was shining, but the wind chill was blasting away any solar radiation gain one could expect on that type of day.

I beared down and gnashed my teeth – grumpy I pedaled and just kept reminding myself over and over that this was the last day and I would see my Sweets soon.

Once at The Dalles, the wind eased up a bit and I could feel I was getting closer to being in Hood River. In fact the last 15 miles of the day were a real treat in terms of scenery. The Historic Columbia River Highway was the last sinew of this tour, connecting The Dalles to Hood River. The Historic Columbia River Highway stops at Mosier. It used to carry on – but by 1960, a new interstate highway had replaced nearly all of the older road. The 4.5 mile stretch of old highway between Hood River and Mosier, including the Mosier Twin Tunnels, was closed, filled with rock and abandoned. Alas, today, the old road is restored for a bike and walking trail! At the end of the trail, you are spit out in close vicinity to down town Hood River! Yah baby, I made it. I just have to find the wife. I just know she will be waiting for me with ice cold water, a ½ pound juicy burger, balloons, fireworks and a big hug.

She’s nowhere to be seen! Well dad gummit! I flip the flippin’ flip phone flippin’ open! Hey babe, I’m here. Where are you? Oh, me Marilyn (my sister in law) are having a drink at the Hood River Hotel. I say, I thought you were going to meet me at the end – of – my – long journey??

Ok, we had a disconnect, but I pedaled just a mile and half more and rolled up on the Burro, gave her a big kiss and I was done!

Overall Hood 300 Stats:

5 days total

284 miles

8941 feet of elevation gain

40% gravel

Some besties from the trip:

Had a stare down with a bear cub on the John Wayne Trail!
Rode a 2.6 mile pitch black one railroad tunnel.
Too much gravel riding.
Nuclear winds ripping' up the Columbia.
Meeting my side kick, her sister in law (a special gal!) and Luna the Wonder Pup for three days wine tasting in Hood River!